Monday, October 10, 2011

When it feels like a home

Again, a new layer has been reached in the final chapters of this all consuming process.  A comforting realisation of what we as humans find as security. It's our space and our stuff. Living within our stuff kind of defines you.  It shouldn't control you, but it helps relax the mind into letting your guard down and being yourself. Don't you just always feel comforted when you get home from a long day at work, of after a vacation walking back in the front door for the first time after being gone.  You just breath a little sign of relief that "your home".

What spurred on such deep thought provoking philosophy while assembling kitchen cabinet boxes with the bald headed no clothes wearing ikea helper man above? Well, we have been living without our "stuff" like two gypsy's for over a year while building this project. Just our clothes and essentials shacked up in my mothers house, but I'm grateful for having a place to lay our head.  All of our "home" is in a storage unit waiting to be unpacked and loved again patiently until we finish this amazing chapter and return to our lives and next adventure.  I'm missing our "home" so much lately that I think I'm really in tune with registering my lack of that feeling. You think you don't need that feeling that it's freeing without that security, but when it's gone for a long period of time it starts becoming more present in the day to day little things. And for some reason, starting to hang the kitchen cabinets the space transitioned into the beginnings of the home feeling.  It has mostly felt up until now like a art gallery atmosphere.  Its very nice but not livable, or a place you want to spend a long period of time in.

It could be that I turned on the radiant floor heater and it feels wonderful on the toes, but I just don't want to leave. I just find myself sitting in there envisioning what it's going to look like, how good it would feel to live in.......a little like my home away from home.